Death Toilet: What the Hell Did I Just Watch?

Rating: 1.5 out 5 toilet bowl stains

Like many of the people who read these reviews, my sense of humor never graduated elementary school. As such, you can imagine my delight when I came across a movie called Death Toilet (2018) on Tubi. And speaking of Tubi, allow me to note that it is one of the best free streaming services for horrible movies. Take Death Toilet, for example. Any streaming service offering this movie obviously has no real standard … and I’m more than okay with that. It makes my job so much easier.

I’ll start off by saying this: There are crappy movies, and then there is Death Toilet (see what I did there?). This film is on a level of awfulness all on its own. And if that’s not bad enough, the filmmaker thought it was a good idea to make four more of these movies. I’m not kidding. Now, I warn you, my faithful readers, this movie is bad. Like, really bad. It is so bad, I don’t know if there is a word in the English language to express this type of horrendous amalgamation of cheap cinematic techniques. The acting is worse than an elementary church musical; the special effects look like they came from the quarter machine at a grocery store; the props look like they came from Dollar General; and the script sounds like it was a class project for a bunch of third graders. That's me being nice.

Death Toilet is directed by Evan Jacobs (Insect, The Toll Collector) and written by Mike Hartsfield.

Hartsfield plays the main character in all the Toilet movies and is the one who came up with this original plot. So, from the get-go, at least it has that going for it. Death Toilet focuses on Brett Baxter (Hartsfield), a Vietnam vet. who comes home to take care of his dead brother’s affairs. Brett soon discovers the toilet in his brother’s house is not normal, and believes it might have something to do with his death.

And Brett is right.

Death Toilet opens with Brett’s brother getting stabbed in the crotch by the demon-possessed toilet and, goodness gracious, the crappy special effects start here. I’m certain the fake blood is nothing more than chocolate syrup because there’s a quick scene in the movie where viewers can clearly see a bottle of syrup sitting on the bathroom sink—a glaring accident that should've been caught during filming and if not then, at least in post-production.

When the demon manifests in the toilet, a knife blade comes out of the seat. I have to say, this was pretty cool, but what ruined the effect for me was the dime-store-looking eyes floating around in the toilet bowl, and then the water turning red with a little food dye to indicate blood.

After Brett moves in, it doesn’t take long for the toilet to start acting up. When he begins hearing laughing sounds coming from the bowl, Brett calls a plumber, but he can’t find anything wrong with it. As the film (and I use that word loosely) progresses, Brett suspects the toilet is possessed or haunted.

So, what do you do if you think you have a haunted or possessed crapper in your house? Call a priest, of course! The man sent for the job is—and I kid you not—Father Dingleberry (Isaac Golub, who has directed a few music videos, and sadly passed away this past April). At first, our illustrious priest thinks this is all a joke. Then, the demon manifests in the toilet, and a less-than-lackluster battle between good and evil ensues.

I won’t give away the ending, just in case any of you readers decide to subject yourself to it. All in all, Death Toilet was a huge letdown for me. With a runtime of around 54 minutes, I can honestly say it was still too long. About ten minutes into the movie, I was seriously questioning my life choices. About fifteen minutes in, I was debating turning it off. By twenty minutes, I was wondering if I could make it through to the end.

Then, I thought about you. My readers. How could I let you down?

It was time for me, the one who prides himself on being able to endure such trash, to pony up. So, I did. I made it through Death Toilet in its entirety. All for you, folks. My tolerance has now leveled up in a big way, and I am proud of myself. Where most would have faltered and turned it off (like my fiancé did, who was watching it with me over video chat), I endured. Don’t ever say Zeke didn’t do anything for you!

In my mind, what needs to happen with these movies is this: A studio with a bigger budget should snatch this up. The idea is great and would be an epic B movie with better acting and better special effects. Someone out there, please do this, because I'd love to see a remake done right!

I can’t believe I am suggesting this, but if any of y’all want me to watch the rest of the Death Toilet "franchise" and review it, I will. All you need to do is send us an email with "For Zeke!" as the subject and I'll get it. And I’m sure, like other choices I’ve made in life, I’ll end up regretting it, but hey, this is what I do and I love it.

Where to watch: Tubi.

If you actually want to pay for it: YouTube Premium and Google Play.

Ezekiel Kincaid lives for horror and loves to watch it, write about, and talk about it, whether that be in his own horror novels or in reviews. His experience as a pastor and paranormal investigator brings everything he writes to life. Reach him through MixedAlternativeMag@gmail.com.