Rian Nickels
Oct 9, 2024
Never give up on your dreams.
I typically write concert reviews, but let's be honest – almost everyone knows who Sleeping with Sirens is, and if you don't, all the info about the band members, their accomplishments, and their rise in their career can be found on their Wikipedia page. If you want to know what they sound like LIVE, I promise you that thousands of videos are available. I'm trying to say they are popular in the post-hardcore-emo-alternative scene. At this point, they've transcended generations, rising to fame with Millennials and Gen Z and resurfacing amongst younger folks from Gen Z and older folks from Gen Alpha due to apps like TikTok. So, What I'm here to tell you instead is the story of how Sleeping with Sirens impacted me to find and follow my dreams.
The year is 2012, and you're an angsty & edgy teenager still trying to become who you are, trying to find your musical taste, your place in the world, and the words for the thousands of intense feelings you have. In your coming-of-age journey, you're sitting in your high school cafeteria. Your friend starts talking about a beautiful man with the voice of an angel, Kellin Quinn – they see the look of confusion on your face and demand that you go home and search for Sleeping with Sirens on YouTube. Upon doing so, you come upon songs that will later be anthems of multiple generations, 'King for A Day' featuring Pierce the Veil and 'If You Can't Hang'– your friend was right; he's beautiful, and he truly has what I would consider the voice of an angel. With his impressive vocal range, he can go from singing high-pitched notes and lovely harmonies to low screams that add more raw emotion to the songs. While you might have already been into bands like Mayday Parade and Hawthorne Heights, this day will shape your musical taste. It will be the first step to an over a decade-long journey.
The thing about Sleeping with Sirens is that the lyrics make you feel understood as a teenager and even as an adult. The songs put feelings into words that you didn't have yet. Tracks like "Tally Up, Settle the Score, " a song about being motivated to prove the people who doubted you wrong, encouraged you to push beyond your peers' hate and doubt. Songs like 'Who Are You Now' ask the question of who you became after the world tried to change you. When you didn't have the words to describe the intense feelings of wanting to love and be loved, you had 'If I'm James Dean & You're Aubrey Hepburn.’ When you were left wondering how a parent could go without caring about you, you had 'A Trophy Father's Trophy Son.' You could scream the lyrics "Is this what you call a family?" to the rooftops. If you had a partner who cheated on you, you had 'If You Can't Hang' to sing along to. Sleeping with Sirens has a song for every hardship, every milestone, and every feeling you come across.
The year is 2014; you're still just as ever, an angsty and emotional teen. You're going to Warped Tour with your friends to see bands like Attila, Mayday Parade, Breathe Carolina, and Sleeping with Sirens. If you were anything like me, you were a reserved and anxious teen who had never done anything significant. This was the most people you've ever been around and the most bands you'd ever seen on the same day. You notice that other people on Warped Tours are crowd-surfing, so think, "Oh, I could never do that." But when Sleeping with Sirens plays 'Do it Now Remember it Later,' you think, "Well, why COULDN'T I?", so you find a trusting spot in the crowd and ride the wave of hands launching you forward at your chance to see the band up close if even only for a second. This is only the beginning of you coming out of your shell. It's the first time you genuinely feel accepted and realize other people are just like you. People with neon-colored hair, piercings, dark clothes, but most importantly, people who feel the way you have.
In the years after the Warped Tour 2014, Sleeping with Sirens continued to be there for us, motivate us forward, and ultimately explode in popularity.
I didn't find my niche as a photographer until 2023. I had done small concerts before and knew I loved it, but I needed to be more dedicated. I didn't have the drive or the energy to accomplish it. But in 2023, I attended the So What Music Festival. On the first day, Sleeping with Sirens headlined the fest. Throughout the day, I saw various concert photographers running around taking photos, and I couldn't help but be jealous. I wanted to be them SO BAD.
When Sleeping with Sirens went on, they played such a fantastic performance that set in stone for me what I wanted to do with my life - Be a concert photographer. They cemented it even further by telling the crowd, "No dream is too big; you just have to push yourself in the right direction to get there," before telling us how they used to be a bunch of guys with a dream, too. I knew then that I would spend whatever time it took and do whatever it took to achieve my goals. The first step was making a goal. I looked at my partner during SWS and told them with my entire chest, "I promise you I will take their photos next year; I don't know how I'll do it, but I will." This feeling only solidified after seeing bands like Pierce the Veil and Neck Deep – all-time favorites of mine.
Upon going home from the fest, I uploaded all the work I deemed worthy from previous music photo gigs to Instagram. By January 2024, my musician friends were starting to hit me up and ask me to photograph their performances. Even though I hadn't been taking photos for years. I pushed myself forward to doing it and, within a couple of months of feeling comfortable, found an alternative music publication based in my state! Mixed Alternative Magazine interviewed a local band I'd previously taken photos of. Reaching out, showing my portfolio, and trying to join the team would be good. Mixed Alt was thrilled about me wanting to join and drilled it into my head that I was talented in what I was doing. It felt good to be a part of something bigger than just myself. Throughout the year, I'd pick up all the gigs of my friends that I could. I grew my talent, got better equipment, and returned to my love of writing thanks to the woman behind all the magic at Mixed Alt Mag – Nicole Brice.
When I saw that Sleeping with Sirens was coming to the House of Blues in New Orleans, I knew I would probably not get it, but I asked Nicole if we could try anyway. She allowed me to try, and we waited and waited and waited for what seemed like forever.
Thirty hours before the show, I got an email saying I had been approved. I remember losing my mind. "OH, FUCK OH FUCK NO WAY NO WAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OMG," I said. I couldn't believe I was accepted! After over a year of sweat, tears, and dedication, I was meeting my massive goal of photographing one of my favorite bands.
When I found myself in the photo pit of The House of Blues, taking photos of them performing 'Do It Now Remember It Later,' it brought me back to that 16-year-old girl who was trying to find her place in the world, crowd-surfing to that same song at Warped tour 12 years ago. It brought me back to the 27-year-old woman I had grown to become just a year before screaming the lyrics to her partner and starting a dream in that field. It reminded me of all the past friends, lovers, adults, and press managers who said I couldn't do it. It showed me that every single step I had taken since I was 16 years old brought me to this moment – standing directly in front of Kellin Quinn and his fellow bandmates, capturing the magic through my lens, from my own eyes—the adrenaline from being so close and feeling so proud of myself pumped through my veins.
I guess my purpose of this alternate article was to tell you – just like Sleeping with Sirens would – to never give up on your dreams. As sappy as it is, dreams can come true, and you can achieve anything if you truly set your heart and mind to it.
*All photos courtesy of Rian Nickels - to see more, check out Rian's site below.
Questions or comments? Reach out to us at mixedalternativemag@gmail.com.